A babysitters prayer

Dear dear God,

Please make the day longer, so I may get some sleep.
May my clothes repel food and drool and may they self destruct on formation.
Along the same lines, may the 2 year old's clothes repel everything except his body (which tends to be the case always)

Please send enough distractions throughout the day - especially at meal times.
Give me the strength to explain for the three hundredth time that sugar does not have vitamins, coz vitamins are sweet too!

I beg you to eliminate the 2 year olds predilection towards downward tropism
The 14 year old's mood swings
and the 8 year old's shrill voice.

I'd also like you to know that I don't see the point behind giving kids a perverse sense of humor. If you think you're funny, think again.

Please send Telly Tubbies to hell. I need to know Telly Tubbies die and go to hell.
Also, if you must send me to hell, please don't send me to the same hell where the Telly Tubbies are.

However God, I'd like to say thank you for everything else.
And yes ... you have again reasserted the fact that you exist.

much love,
me