A babysitters prayer

Dear dear God,

Please make the day longer, so I may get some sleep.
May my clothes repel food and drool and may they self destruct on formation.
Along the same lines, may the 2 year old's clothes repel everything except his body (which tends to be the case always)

Please send enough distractions throughout the day - especially at meal times.
Give me the strength to explain for the three hundredth time that sugar does not have vitamins, coz vitamins are sweet too!

I beg you to eliminate the 2 year olds predilection towards downward tropism
The 14 year old's mood swings
and the 8 year old's shrill voice.

I'd also like you to know that I don't see the point behind giving kids a perverse sense of humor. If you think you're funny, think again.

Please send Telly Tubbies to hell. I need to know Telly Tubbies die and go to hell.
Also, if you must send me to hell, please don't send me to the same hell where the Telly Tubbies are.

However God, I'd like to say thank you for everything else.
And yes ... you have again reasserted the fact that you exist.

much love,
me

tell me lies... tell me sweet little lies...

He broke my heart! I'm never talking to him again!


Well at least he was honest ...

Pft! Who wants honesty! No one wants honesty!! Every one I know want stars and music and... and... cotton candy!


Yeah Right! I remember only yesterday someone with a remarkable resemblance to you was sitting on me and screaming, "tell me the truth!! tell me!!"

I think I'm growing old ... I don't deal with honesty as well as I used to.

No, I don't think it has anything to do with age. I think he should have lied to you. It was only appropriate. Like you'd have know what really happened!! You'd never have a way to have found out otherwise. So he could easily have kept the truth from you and there would have been no problem. He could have made something up too! Something all gooey and happy! Everyone would have been happy.

LIE TO ME!! Is that how your mind works!! You'd lie to me!! Why don't you just kill me instead of lying to me.

Wha?? You just said you didn't...

But that would break my heart!! If someone lied to me!!

..... silence .....


Aaah!!

So which would be the lesser of two evils?

I guess the one option he didn't pick.

Life is just too hard

Alisha-isms

Strolling in suburbia
Twit: (bending over rose bush) Smell the roses
Anchi: I can smell them from here
Twit: (looks skeptical, sticks nose next to my face) I can't smell them from here
Ali: That's coz you're deaf!
Eh?

Boy-talk session # 289
Ali: Oh he's a keeper... in the garage.

Boy-talk session # 334
Ali: All the best guys are either taken or gay ... Why ME!!

Anchi showing remorse
Anchi: Twit told me to do it that way, which is why I did it (looks dejected)
Ali: (puts reassuring arm around shoulder and patronising voice) What did you learn?

Fight # 231
Twit: (said something)
Anchi: Your so vain twit
Ali: THATS RIGHT TWIT!! YOU'RE JUST VAIN. V-A-Y-N - VAIN!!
Anchi: Err... that didn't come out right.
Ali: No? Why?

Two lazy louts and one twit climbing up Hyde street in San Francisco
(Hyde street is very very steep)
Anchi: F***!!
Twit: (grunting)Walk backwards its easier
Ali: I hate you all, I hate life! Why couldn't they level the city before they built stuff. But NOOO!!! They had to have mountains. It's all your fault Twit!!
Anchi, carry me. Is there a short-cut? How much more do we have to walk? Why can't it be flat? Ooh this is like trekking! Ooh that guy is hot! WHAT!! that slope is steeper than the last one. Where did the hot guy go? Oooh ice cream... No No, I don't want any. Anchi, dont spend money. Is that a cable car? Can we take the cable car? I've never been on the cable car. Damn its full! Idiots. All want to ride the cable car.
Anchi, twit - looooveee me, hoooold me. No No its okay, I'll only pull you'll back. You guys walk, I'll catch up. Or not. Whatever. It doesn't matter.
Why are taxis so expensive?

(What wore her out? the banter or the walk... is still in debate. Luckily its a beautiful city and there are "so many hot men")